Tetrameter Couplets - Train

Same drill as yesterday today, to write in tetrameter lines paired into rhyming couplets. The topic for today is a train. Stay sense bound and have fun!

Dreaming to the rhythm and the echo of the line
Singing with the whistle and the chugging of the mind
Wand’ring where the tunnels and the tracks will align
Puffing, the exhaust will keep the time
Jumping to the station at the coming stop
Hopping on whatever boxcar to swap
Counting down the sleepers, winding with the rail
Reach a destination on my tail
Evade the law and guard to stay
Lonesome whistle carried away
Syllables of pastures pass
Long to touch a blade of grass
Steam will sting the hairs on my nose
Wherever I go this engine follows
Singing my own diary to crowds of drifters
Sipping the sour from an ancient snifter


The steel it glides like silken wings
and on steel tracks the freight train sings
The cargo bound for eager hands
for money movers in prospering lands
A cape not donned by hero’s bound
To chairs for days they shake the ground
For earthquake shakes and screeching birds
can’t drown the sound of freight train herds
moving horizon’s block sun sets out
With a echoing roar the freight train’s shout

Some nice lines in here!
though I cant say I understand afew, e.g evade the law and guard to stay, and syllables of pastures pass. Is that like a precious cargo train and the syllables just mean “lots of”?

I love the first line, and then the steel on steel imagery is kind of cool. The mouth feel of “money movers in prospering lands” is superb. Did you mean “drown” instead of “down” in the sound of freight train herds line? I assume so, and that is really cool. (Don’t worry, I typo all the time here :slight_smile: ) Another really good job at bringing in cool imagery.

On mine, I was kind of seeing a hobo trying to evade policemen and ticket checkers. The syllables of pastures part, I just kind of thought it was looking out of a box car and seeing staccatoed landscapes passing by quickly (like the way syllables go by thoughtlessly when we speak).

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Yeah the word was drown not down! Ah yeah I mean thats the joy is the interpretation we see things differently!

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