Unstable Structure - Cloudy Day

Today marks the last day of exercises from the book “Songwriting Without Boundaries”. A huge congratulations for getting this far, and I hope have all gotten as much out of them as I have.

We’ll finish off on a slightly strange structure that looks like this:

4 a
3 b
3 b
4 a

The third line doesn’t set any expectations of what is to come, and so the whole thing sort of floats. Perhaps useful for “wobbly” themes such as heartbreak and loss? The prompt is “cloudy day” and as usual, stay sense bound and keep your eyes peeled for metaphor!

Good luck and give yourself an enormous pat on the back for getting this far. From here we will start some new exercises!

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The blue drowned out by floating sheets
Of water coloured grey
Today may be the day
And I can finally rest my feet

For distant smells of rain on dust
In unrelenting sun
The rains have finally come
And stress of failed harvest hushed

Well done everyone!! What a epic journey it has been and I can definitely say I never thought my writing would have got to a level its currently at! And I know theres still so much to learn so looking forward to the next chapter. Also keen to see where this site goes its still in its infancy really so if you need help with anything @jamie let me know and I’ll see if I can help.


Concentrated Oxygen
Thunder claps and rolls
Silver linings left cold
The sun’s light lingering as a charlatan

Lungs are filled with fog and flood
Chest expands wide
Joy and pain subsides
Bringing down celestial blood

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I love the way you use harsh (or scary/discomforting) imagery leading to a chance to rest. That tension is powerful.
You carry that tension to the second stanza too. Using the “badness” of rainless days and contrasting that with a hope for a better harvest.

Really cool.

Very nice!
That second paragraph is a gem!

Well done bro! We made it haha, give yourself a pat on the back i imagine it was a challenge condensing your mind into afew syllables

Pat on the back??? Ha, we deserve a pour of whiskey :slight_smile: these exercises have been fun. Can’t wait to see what comes next.

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