Thanks for the feed back! I find myself trying to tell a short story than using senses to push it along.
Congratulations on capturing that kinaesthetic sense! I can really feel the jolt of the chain coming off and the wobbling forward. You write with good control the sense of her being completely out of control!
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You have really nicely put us into her shoes, feeling her heartbeat, her breath and the salt on her cheeks. Well done!
Hi there Hugh 
And welcome to the writing community! As you mentioned in your comment our natural inclination is to tell a story, but for these exercises we are not concerned with narrative at all, just the raw sensory description. In the pyramid of songwriting, this is the foundation, and all the other elements of plot and structure and meter and rhyme are built on top of strong sensory words.
@maddragon has given great feedback on where you could show rather than tell - and I look forward to reading more in the coming days! 
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Great starting sentence. Eyelids mimicking the horizon is a great image. The ticking in the chest is also something a listener can identify with. Using your internal heartbeat to keep time is an available feeling that everyone connects with.
It is great the way you painted a hilly terrain. The trees rising from the light is a great way to show that the landscape was hidden behind a hill. The sound of the road comparing to flowing water is also a really neat use of imagery.
Electricity pulsed through me as I approached the top of the hill. I could see miles into the distance, each blue mountain fading into the next with a beautiful gradient. The air smelled like pine and I could feel my shoulders being toasted by the sun. I felt a burning sensation as I tightly gripped the ribbed rubber handles. I breathed in deeply, feeling light, confident and alive…Digging my feet into the dirt and leaning back, I pushed off. The wind felt cool and liberating on my face…Until I heard the crunching
of the gravel getting louder and louder… With every high pitched “pop” and “ping” my heart beat faster… I didn’t know which way was up anymore… the next thing I remember is a piercing scream, the taste of blood, and seeing gravel embedded in my shaking palms.
Oh wow… yes. I am telling stories! I don’t know how not too! I will work on this 
The first sentence is excellent because of the entendre. Electricity pulsing like excitement, but also the heartbeat accelerating with excitement and activity pumping like electricity keeping you going. The contrast of clear visibility and mountains fading with gradient is really nice as well. Pine is a great smell, so common and strong, very relatable. Feeling your shoulders getting sunburned is also real and introduces an idea of pain into an otherwise beautiful setting. The crunching along with the onomatopoeia is also a nice contrast. And finishing with a wreck to have that huge contrast. The initial sunburn pain growing to objects embedded in your skin. I think this is really well written.
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thank you for the feedback!
I think this is a strong piece of sensory work - and I really like the contrast between the serene opening and the shock of the crash. Gripping the rubber handles is very relatable, as is the gravel in the hands - a really engaging piece well done!
It clicks and I know I’m safe. My feet locked in, squeezed into my boot, as cars whiz past at a dizzying speed. My legs churn, my muscles waking, on the verge of an early cramp that ends the ride, smoothing past the stickiness of the chain and my legs. The wind whips my face, as my head turns down, a stinging sensation in my nose from the saltwater nearby. I grip the rubber on the handlebars and my heartbeat and legs begin to move at the same pace.
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Sorry it is taking me longer to review. This is interesting because what I’m seeing is more of a serious biker with pedal locks. The click is cool because it is auditory, but also tactile when you read the next sentence, you feel that little click on the balls of your feet. You have a lot going on in the third sentence, it is fun because it gives the reader a sense of being pretty confused or hectic, but that can also be a little overwhelming sometimes. The comfort at the close of your body finding harmony is a nice rap up.
It’s funny when I ride a road bike the clicking my feet in is the opposite of knowing I am safe - it is being locked to the bike with no escape from the danger zone! Some nice sensory descriptions in here - it would be nice to expand on sensations such as the early cramp - which I can absolutely relate to but I feel could be painted out more perhaps. Some nice use of organic and kinaesthetic senses in here so well done!
The day started with the rush of thrill is now collapsing on my slouchy frame, slippery hands coiled around the rubbery handle throbbing from the blisters. Sweat dripping from my brows, blurrying the road snaking in the high mountain passes. Smell of sweat choked my nasal pathways, obstructing the smell of pines. Sun blasting heat in all it’s glory, baking my nape. Parched lips and withered throat yearning for some mercy from the heaven. Every push to the pedal seems like a heavy maneuver, my thighs crumbling under the tension of gravity.
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The first sentence is great, it makes us feel time passing, as well as that post-workout tired feeling when you are worn out but still feel some after effects of the adrenaline. The sweat blurrying the road is very effective. It lets us feel the sting of sweat in our eyes, the running of the sweat down our forehead, and the blur effect of it in our eyes to our vision. Since you used sweat in the second sentence, I would suggest using a different word in your third sentence. What does sweat smell like to you? Maybe something like saline-metalic aroma choked my nasal pathways. Something like that. The parched throat is especially effective because that raw feeling in the throat emphasizes our heavy, worn out chest and bodies. Great job!
The mountain stands before a phalanx to my cavalry charge. Five tress whiz past for every one in the distance. My lips tug in a smirk as the hum of modernity sounds my charge. I float past, dodging gravity’s spear, my thighs’ old enemy. Not this time. In defiance, my feet whirl moving the horizon behind me as I go for the leader’s crown, toppling it victoriously. My wings glide outward as I ride my chariot down on the wind. For these few moments, time stops and I just am. Worries, thoughts, fear all fallen on the battlefield, only calm quiet of peace remains. Lightning bugs cheer in streaking celebration as I fly past.
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I like the sense of motion you have built with five trees whizzing past for each one in the distance - that is a really neat way of simultaneously portraying the thrill of the speed you are going with how still and peaceful it feels to be on the bike!
The line where the road meets the sky ever calls my chorded legs to churn, spinning my feet like the orbiting moons of Saturn. Ketogenic taste on the in-breath keeps the forward momentum in my burning muscles. The forest blurs to the sides of my vision as thoughts blur past my mind, and like the horizon I find a stillness in the center of it all. The rhythm of has been established; I can even hear it in the rattle of the spokes and the pressurized dance between rubber and road.
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Lovely metaphor of the pedals “orbiting” - a new connection I have never made! I like the effect you have used of the forest blurring with your thoughts, and how you have captured that meditative stillness above the noise. We can really hear the clinks and the sound of the tyres on the tarmac in our minds. A very well-written piece well done!
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